Marrying Manson, or Chucky's Pre-Nup

My first thought when I read about Chucky Manson’s plans to marry a 26-year old moron was what would that pre-nup look like? My second thought was who would even think about marrying Manson? That’s marrying Manson, not the rock group Marilyn Manson.

In my circles, I have heard he is not the marrying kind. Let’s not dig too deeply into my circles, but when I first started dating my wife of 27 years, Jackie Person (then), I had to pass her hidden check list.

What is a hidden check list you ask? Well, it’s really pretty simple: 1. He has a job; 2. He has a car; 3. He has his own place to stay. Voila! Pass the test and you are a viable candidate for a, to use the current term, BF.

So, how does the likes of Manson fit into that scheme? Well, he does have a place to stay. It may not be his own place to stay, but it does provide “three hots and cot,” so to speak. Of course, he has a few roommates and he is sort of a loner, despite being cooped up with a bunch of ne’er-do-wells. Oh, and lest we forget, he is a convicted mass murderer.

But I guess for some marrying a mass murderer beats hooking up with some of the derelict boys on the street. I am certain there are a few out there who are just as scary as Chuck.

But still, if you want a nice quick cheap thrill all you have to do is post a line on FaceBook about wanting to hook up with some of those ISIS hotties. If you don’t get over to Iraq or Syria quickly enough you will get a visit from the Feds. And if you do get over there, I am certain that relationship will go out with a bang. Literally.

Still, back to the Manson marriage thing. Why would anyone provide a license? What purpose would this marriage serve? Not even thinking about how someone might consummate the marriage. And then, there’s the whole devil spawn issue we would have to deal with.

Any way you look at it, monsters exist. Manson is merely one. But his previous actions disclude him from normal society. Do you suppose he regrets his swastika tattoo? Do you really believe a guy who was responsible for the Tate-LaBianca murders could somehow be salvaged?

There’s a reason they locked him up. Let him stay locked up. He terrorized half of California, and his “kids” were nothing less than demons. It’s even more amazing to me that he didn’t receive the death penalty. I know he would have here in good old Virginia, or in Florida, and especially in Texas.

So it seems this woman, Elaine Burton, has spent the last nine years trying to exonerate Manson. Exonerate!? Here are a bunch of synonyms for exonerate: absolve, acquit, vindicate, forgive, pardon, exculpate, clear, and free. Which one do you think fits best when it comes to talking about Manson?

None!

Ms. Burton must have some serious issues to think that any of those words apply to Manson. He has not changed very much, methinks. He was manipulative back in the day and has shown a tendency to continue to manipulate whatever he can; for my money he would love nothing more than to be back in the 70s.

Where will it end? Same sex marriage, interspecies relationships, and now the Manson Family nuptials. Man, it makes me want to move to Oregon.