Biting the hand that feeds you, literally!

I guess not everybody is an aficionado of the History Channels Swamp People show. It would seem to me that it would be required viewing for anyone who hangs around the swamps, whether it be the one in Mississippi or the Everglades in Florida.

While it doesn’t take but a few minutes to realize just how dangerous catching alligators can be, some people seem to come up short on the common sense principle. It’s best not to provoke a wild animal, and especially one that is as dangerous as an alligator.

Take for instance the case of 63-year-old Wallace Weatherholt. Weatherholt is an airboat captain who makes his living by taking tourists out into the Everglades for the Grand Tour, swamp-style.  Flora and fauna abound. The airboat whisks along gliding over the swamp at incredible speed.

But just the idea of the sites to see and the animals to check out isn’t always enough. In Weatherholt’s case, his Indiana clients had an additional need. They needed to see an American Alligator, up close and personal.

Well, they got what they were looking for on their June 12^th tour.  Weatherholt decided to get an alligator to come up close to the airboat by holding out a fish. His hand, according to reports, was just above the water.  A 9-foot alligator, which typically weighs over 500 pounds, slipped up out of the depths and snatched the fish and took Weatherholt’s hand along with it.

He didn’t even have time to yell, “Shoot him, shoot him,” as they do in Swamp People. Now the Indiana family really has something to talk about when they recounted their Everglades adventure.

But really, how foolish can someone be who makes a living in a swamp?  These are wild animals, not trained seals or dogs. We can’t even get captive Orcas to behave properly, and here we have a man enticing an alligator? That’s just plain crazy.

So, the State of Florida recently added to the man’s injury by charging him with a misdemeanor for feeding the alligators, which is forbidden by Florida law.  Seems to me the man has paid a big enough price for feeding gators; I am sure a hand is more than Shylock’s pound of flesh.

Still, gators can be dangerous. I find it best to stay out of their way when possible, although it is kind of cool to check them out. Two years ago, we travelled around on the Gator Gau, a huge airboat on Myakka Lake, a Florida state park just east of Sarasota. We saw a handful of gators, but none in the nine-foot range.  Still, sitting in the boat was about as close as I wanted to get to one.

Gator incidents abound in Florida, as I am sure they do in Mississippi and anywhere else the prehistoric-looking critters live. One time about 30-years ago, I was fishing in a canoe with a couple friends.  A typical Florida storm churned up, and we headed for the Interstate bridge to get out of the rain. We continued to fish, but at one point one of my buddies started taking off his shoes and rolling up his pants legs. I watched him get into the river, and circle around toward a point on the shore just a short way upstream.

Suddenly, he reached down and grabbed a small gator under the front legs. It had been wounded—shot in the head—but it wasn’t quite dead yet. We dispatched the poor critter to put him out of his misery and tossed the carcass into the bottom of the canoe.

Does anyone sense this story going awry, or is it just me?

Well, the three of us climbed back into the canoe and started our trek back to the cabin where we started. About halfway back, the gator decided not to be dead and started snapping at fishing equipment, boots, paddles, basically anything we threw its way. Fortunately for us, the gator had a broken jaw and could not chomp down on anything. In short order, we finished paddling back to the cabin, did in the remaining gator essence, and had enough tail meat for a small cook out.  And that’s my gator tale that easily could have ended up much worse.

And now comes my final gator tale of the day.  While perusing the Bradenton Herald a few years ago, I came across a story with the following headline: Man Attacked by Gator.”

Hmm, I thought at the time, that’s unusual. Let’s run my eyes over this story and find out what it’s all about.

Turns out, the gator really wasn’t after the man. He was after the man’s dog. Other than marshmallows, there’s nothing a gator would rather eat than good old American canine.

It seems this fellow had his house on a pond in Florida, as many people do.  In the morning, he had gotten into the habit of letting his little dog out to do his business across the street, near the pond. Apparently, a gator decided to move into the pond, and thought that the dog was merely someone providing a nice little breakfast.

Hearing a commotion and his dog barking outside, the man opened his front door to let his dog escape the gator’s gnashing jaws. Unfortunately for him, while the jaws missed the dog they didn’t miss his arm. So, in the end, the gator really wasn’t after the man.  He was after man’s best friend.

It doesn’t take much to realize how dangerous a gator can be. I can’t imagine having one chomp on my hand, and I know from experience that they can be very quarrelsome. Still, when Weatherholt faces a judge in his case later this month, the judge should show him some pity.  The man has already paid a handsome price.