Go, Go Gadget, Jackie

It probably wasn’t much of a surprise to my wife, Jackie, when I asked her team of doctors if they would show me the used knee parts that they replaced during her surgery next week as sort of proof that the work was done.  Sure, it may have the ring of some kind of crazy New Yorker attitude, but how will we really know?

Back in the days when I used to actually do all my own car work, I would spend hours trolling places like Circle Auto Parts or any other kind of junk yard I could find.  I would even stop and check out vehicles that had become blackberry thickets, because you never really know where you might find that one part you have been looking for.  And in truth, I found many parts to many of the old cars I owned that way.

This was back in the day when you could use a soda can (ok, it might have been another type of beverage), to fix a broken or wearing thin muffler pipe.  I used to carry pliers and a couple old coat hangers just for that purpose.  And the coat hangers got double duty for the times I had to bend them into all kinds of pretzel shapes to open a car with the keys locked inside.

I remember one time spotting a wrecked Ford that had a four-speed transmission.  It happened to be the same year and model as my car, which had a broken automatic transmission.  The guy sold it to me for $75, including the drive shaft, which I knew would be longer than the one in my car because the transmission was longer.

Did it work? Yes, of course it worked, although I had to cut a hole in the floor board for the shifter.

But parts changes on human beings are a bit different.  So maybe just checking her new scars would be OK and I should not worry too much about the parts being replaced.

And so you have it. I have totally regressed to 1976 and will have my very own Bionic Woman in the matter of about a week.  Sure it won’t be the same as Lindsay Wagner’s character on that ancient sitcom, but heck we all have dreams, don’t we?

I can’t imagine Jackie running at 60 mph, but it will be nice to have her getting around without being hobbled by first one knee and then the other.  Certainly, it’s just a joint and not some kind of leg augmentation.

For what it’s worth, she did ask if she could get compressors and extenders for the knees.  You see, as a Librarian in the Richmond School District, she often has to reach way down to put a book on the bottom shelf and in turn reach way up to put a book on the top shelf.  She’s pretty much set with the in-between stuff.

There’s a lot that these people can do today, but I think “Go, Go, Gadget, Jackie” may still be a few years away.  Still, it will be fun to have a fully functional Jackie back in the house. The past few years, as she withstood the pain and put up with the knee locks and the times she fell down without help from an area rug or Snuggs, our guest Great Dane, has been hard on her.  And, lately, I think things had gotten worse.

She is amazing to me.  To have put up with the pain in her knees as long as she has is incredible.  The only bigger pain in the house is, well, maybe I should plead the fifth right now. Still, it’s a huge turnaround from the person who it seems a short time ago was wrestling with the idea of getting her knees replaced.

The way I hear it is that you’ll know when it’s time to get your knees replaced.  Jackie has had problems with her knees for nearly six years.  Last year, we went to see the doctor, because they told her she probably had some torn cartilage.  They took an X-ray and we showed up to see the doctor.  He said the good news was she did not have torn cartilage.  But the bad news was she didn’t have any cartilage.

Now, a year later, we are on the cusp of getting this taken care of.  Sometimes, you just have to wait for the timing.  And, really, no doctor, I don’t want to see the old parts.