Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Finding the God-darn particle



So the whole idea, I guess, behind that monstrosity known as the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was to find this elusive sub-atomic particle called the Higgs boson. The Higgs boson, or so called God particle, had long been part of sub-atomic theory as espoused by you guessed it Albert Einstein and another fellow named Satyendra Nath Bose, for whom the boson particle is named.
In a sort of NASCAR spinoff, the method physicists use to find this elusive particle involves sending two particles around a huge 17 mile long circular track in opposite directions and forcing them to smash into each other. Still sounds pretty much like a NASCAR event, doesn’t it?
Anyway, the idea is that the resulting collision will produce near Big Bang results and ought to provide proof of the existence of the Higgs boson. The Higgs boson, so scientists claim, is essentially the glue between atoms that holds them together and is considered a building block for subatomic structures. Last year, scientists claimed they thought they might have found just such a particle, but hesitated to confirm that it was the hard to find Higgs boson.
Recently, however, they have stepped out with confidence stating that they had indeed discovered the long-lost particle. The European Organization for Nuclear Research, or CERN, reportedly a wholly owned subsidiary of the Iranian nuclear program, is sure they have their missing link now. CERN officials also stated that they were only doing nuclear research to improve their nuclear power plants throughout Europe.
But back to the NASCAR analogy; it’s my belief that NASCAR probably would have found the Higgs boson much faster than the physicists did. While their cars are not capable of reaching near-light speeds, they are more than capable of sustaining crashes of incredible proportions, for instance on more than one occasion parts of the smashed up vehicles left the race track and found a new home among the spectators. NASCAR officials call this collateral damage.
While this is a sad thing, it does bring up the idea of enclosing the entire track in much the same way that the LHC is contained, and then providing thick non-breakable Plexiglas around the sides so people can watch their favorite drivers without having to worry about a transmission or motor landing in their laps. It’s all about being self-contained anyway. It would also be beneficial for restarts and scoring since the track officials would have much more control over the cars themselves, even if they can’t control the drivers which time and experience has proven that they cannot.
But setting NASCAR aside, physicists are now saying that they have indeed found the missing Higgs boson. It’s a great day for physics, and great support for Albert and his friends as they move into what the current group of physicists are calling the “New Physics.”
CERN physicist Joe Incandela said in a statement last week that "it is clear that we are dealing with a Higgs boson though we still have a long way to go to know what kind of Higgs boson it is."
Physicists have called the Higgs boson the God particle because of two reasons: 1. It is one of the building blocks to particle theory and therefore a building block for the world as we know it (structured by God), and 2. Because one of the early theorists, frustrated by the difficulty in isolating the boson called, it the God- - - - particle in an essay about how hard it was to find. You can be the judge on which of these reasons makes the most sense.
Anyway, as most of these things goes in the history of physics, it will be dozens of years before we realize any new radical theories about the new particle. In fact, it’s much more likely to lead us down another path to identify the next missing piece of the subatomic puzzle.
We are far more likely to see Dale Earnhardt Jr. win a NASCAR Championship before we benefit from the Higgs boson discovery.

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